Blue Lilies

by M. Void

The sweet rhythm of her smile reminds me that she listened to blue world for me,

because of me.

I couldn't keep my hands to myself. I kissed girls in bathrooms

and took double shots. Her quiet, pained face listened to the beat

like a 4:4 critique of me

and my infidelity.

Well, this mad world made me crazy.

That's what I told her when I talked about polyamory.

Blame the devil on my shoulder for making me shady.

I know she set me up, told that bathroom siren to seduce me as a test.

But I lied anyway.

Beautiful blue baby.

She's enchanted by the way I spin a yarn so colorful and so useless.

I didn't do enough for you.

Without you, it's a series of hostel meet-ups and late-night drunk drives.

I'm sorry for the time I slept in the dirt.

Papa preached about acid trips and cocaine slips

But he never preached about this.

I'm in trouble deep, aren't I?

I'm about to lose the first girl,

First person to ever respect my pronouns,

to meet my dad and make me feel like a human.

She played my games,

Yes-anded me better than Second City in my second city.

She supported me through fun facts and ink.

She's my team, my best friend.

The letters she writes sit together, a collection of everything I did wrong.

How I turned her blue,

Even though they all end in I love you.